my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
