Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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