This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
