We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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