I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
