I accidentally had phone sex last night
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
