is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
