U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
