they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
