whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
