So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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