i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
