NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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