In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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