Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
