ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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