Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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