Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
