Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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