dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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