Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
