All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
