He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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