If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
