Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
