Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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