Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
