as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
