let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We had to coat check the pizza.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize