My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
