i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
