If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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