Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
