I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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