I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize