Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
