The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
