Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
