Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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