why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
