I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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