Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
