her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
