Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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