no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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