I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
