Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
