if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
