Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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