But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
