honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
