used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize