btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
