i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I need a beard to bite.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
