My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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