a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
