Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
