I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
