But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
