She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
