Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
