She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
