Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
as a side note pls kill me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
