Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
