my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
